A sniff-a-bility rating is crucial to my line of work. Or, to put it basically, the nose, knows. If a dog were allowed greater freedoms within the two-legged world – yes, even in canine terms there is such a thing as a glass ceiling!, I have no doubt that a few, hand-picked finely tuned dogs with consummate nostrils (myself included) would be the testers of scents. I’m talking leading brand perfumes, gourmet delights and not to mention dog food. I can see it now. Canine Chanel #2, Old Spice Kennel and meaty (this actually smells and tastes good) meaty bites. But I wouldn’t stop there.

Imagine a world where motorbikes smelt of chopped mutton and the back of the truck, where many of us sit on the way to and from work, wafted up scents of gravy and left over vegies, warm straight out of the microwave.

There is a process behind these thoughts. Imagine how much easier it would be to train young pups to jump up onto the tray of a truck or the rear of a bike. Even the recalcitrant ‘old hand’ may well waddle out from his kennel, disinterested to spend another day chasing sheep and cattle, after a night of howling at the moon. Then, with one whiff of the meat infused truck be desperate to jump up and go to work.

Methinks such inspired ideas should be patented, but there would be a downside. Imagine a world where only a portion of the two-leggeds subscribed to my scent-filled, dog products. And in this world a truck travelled through a town where no-one else had Jack’s products. Every four-legged stray would be giving chase … Now there’s a thought. We’ve been lacking a bit of action recently. It’s getting warmer now. I wonder how long it will take for a nice piece of meat to get pungent behind the front seat of Nicole’s truck? Then the next time she goes to Boomi and pulls up outside the Pioneer Hotel, to get milk …